It’s Oh So Quiet

Oh, social media ^^ 

Today’s post is prompted by someone yesterday, and another person last week, and that tweet from Friday. It’s a response to a question I see people ask more and more when it becomes obvious that curation has become a ‘thing’ for someone’s Social Media feed, and that somebody else who’s effectively been ‘curated’ has worked this out. Speaking as someone who makes liberal use of both mute and unfollow in Twitter clients? Maybe it’s time to explain to people what the fuck goes on in my mind, as a guide to how things work on a larger scale. The fact I even have to do this is testament to how much people now place significance in virtual relationships, and that worried me greatly. No matter, let’s get to it.

The question today?

You clearly have me muted. Why don’t you unfollow me?

Let’s stop the bus right here.
Moment of Theatre? ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.
Thing #1, and this is kind of vital to all of the stuff that follows, is that in most cases you shouldn’t be asking this question in Public to begin with. If it bothers you that much that you’re talking to someone and they *appear* to have stopped communicating with you? Go ask them directly. Last time this happened to me, the person concerned was *very* public, extremely shirty and left of their own accord, because for some people the assumption is simple. If they follow you, you need to be paying attention 24/7. Needless to say? Not how life works. The fact I’d muted him because of that attitude to begin with shows that sometimes, its quite easy to predict that two people will rub each other up the wrong way. You become your own barometer, and as soon as selfish behaviour begins to manifest? You have a choice: walk away, or don’t.
Six hours later? Nope, sorry, had enough ^^
Thing #2 is a little more subtle. There are some people you have no problem having around, but their output is so prolific that you simply want a rest from it. So, from time to time, you just turn them down. That, after all, is what mute really means. In most cases, these people end up as a reflection of what you are as a person, like it or not, and it’s a salutatory lesson on how NOT to Social Media. You don’t put every thought and feeling down. You don’t talk into darkness because you’re alone and needy. Mostly, you just look at the words coming out of your mouth and learn to regulate the flow. For some people this is actually impossible, and when that happens, then you just turn them down. Mostly it doesn’t matter, and in the main they don’t notice. It’s like your parents having sex: yes, they did, maybe they still do, but you don’t need to know when they are. Become an arbiter of your own tolerances, and act accordingly.
I know how many people have me muted. Yes, I’m learning.


Don’t give me that look, I’m the Boss here ^^
Thing #3 you’re not going to like. Not only were you right and yes I have you muted, but you will get removed. No, I’m not going to tell you when, because that only causes more drama. In fact as you read this it has already happened, and I’ve moved on, and only now is it apparent what transpired. Now, when this happens to me (and it does with more regularity than you might think) I can go back through my followers list, work out when it happened and attempt a shoddy and completely pointless post mortem on the reasoning, followed by some hastily-concocted and thinly veiled subtweets which make no sense to anyone but me and probably just confuse more people on my feed to begin with. And that’s when you stop. I shouldn’t have to write an entire blog post on why some random person left you high and dry. This isn’t life, it’s the sanitised and manufactured 21st Century Version of finding out you got thrown out of your Treehouse Comic Club. You’re not nine any more. It doesn’t matter.
Get over it and move on.

==
In truth, the sensible people don’t follow you anyway. They have you on a List, or pick up your stuff via an App. Following is becoming increasingly passe for a large number of professionals who understand that actually, you don’t want people knowing who you’re listening to, because that makes it easier to see who they ‘borrowed’ their ideas from. More importantly, it prevents them from operating without being detected, and in a World where metrics are everything? That’s kind of a big deal. Mostly, I shouldn’t feel the need to write posts like this but I continually do, simply to remind those of you still thinking this is the Playground that although you may still be learning? This is not your clique, or your gang, or any other metaphor you decide to swing at the problem.
People meet, they interact, and then often they simply move on. If you are placing far too much significance on why that happens, you need to look to yourself as the issue before you even try and blame other people.
Often, you are the real problem. Take it from someone who grasps this fact only too well.

2 thoughts on “It’s Oh So Quiet

  1. Artenesse January 13, 2016 / 1:54 pm

    Sometimes I just think that Twitter/Facebook/(insert social media shizzle of choice here) – is just taking the p*ss. No matter how many times I tell facebook to do X or Y with my feed, it still stuffs it up. I tend to blame the tech, rather than the specific people, but then I can be a little obtuse about others behaviour toward me, so I guess – that's a good thing? As for me, though, it's common practice for me to have to dig out the people I want to hear from, from the mass of jackson-pollockesque splatter that is my twitter feed, so I might get behind on “the happenings” now and then, but I always try to keep up with those that mean something to me. I guess not everyone is the same?

    Like

  2. Alternative Chat January 13, 2016 / 9:18 pm

    Nope, anything but if today's private responses to this are any indicator ^^

    Like

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