|Stuffing your face at the Internet buffet.|
From time to time, I realise that there has to be a limit to what I consume on the Internet. However noble you want to be, trying to fix every problem on the Planet you encounter is neither possible or advisable. Overreaching is dangerous and can make you look foolish. Most importantly, knowing when to walk away from Internet Drama is a life skill I wish far more people would learn and exercise. Fortunately in my home situation I have people I can trust to guide me in the right direction when I become to obsessed with what I’m doing, or (more importantly) when it starts damaging my actual quality of life.
However, none of this has any point if I don’t sit and work out why this occurs to begin with.
Once upon a time, I assumed there had to be an explanation for everything, that if something bad happened there would inevitably be a cause as well as an effect. Except what has eventually become clear over time is that many people are just so wrapped up in their own worlds to even notice you exist, let alone become part of yours. I’ve written about obsession on the Personal Blog, but today I’m thinking about how the contrary position operates: that I’m the one people want to be friends with, I’m the ideal they’re trying to become a part of. How does it work when the positions are reversed and someone wants you in their lives, but you’re not sure it would ever work to begin with?
|LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE ^^|
I was taught to be polite to everybody, and not to deliberately rude or disrespectful. However, inevitably, you can’t follow everything. It also becomes apparent, over time, the people who don’t interact in a manner that you can cope with easily, and then you have a choice. You can tell them politely what the problem is, and hope they respond, or you can ignore them. The most frequent one I get is from men on Twitter who think that if they treat me like an object and not actually a person, then I’ll somehow find this endearing and want to interact regardless. The fact they’ve not even bothered to treat me like a human being to begin with is part of the issue: their regard for me is clearly far, far higher than mine for them, and undoubtedly a lot of this is erroneously conceived. Yes, I know how fucking arrogant that sounds written down, but I watch how people react, as if I am some kind of unique and special flower only worthy of praise and attention… and no. Just no.
You people know who you are. I’m not your Senpai, your Saviour or indeed your Fantasy. Please just go away.
Sadly however, it isn’t that easy. You can’t just flick a switch and hope people get the message. Most of the drama I see is inevitably centred around a basic conceit ‘I thought I was your friend and now clearly I’m not.’ The thing is, friendship doesn’t work like that. You both need to input stuff, over time. Yes, this can be very easily accomplished on the Internet, or a webpage, or in Guild Chat. However, the fact remains that if it’s only one person doing the work, that’s never going to end well. So just sitting there and expecting the other person to be the instigator may work for some of the time but in the end, you won’t have much to show. It’s a long, complicated and often hard to navigate road that you never stop travelling if you want things to be right. For instance, once I’ve written this I’m going to spend 30 minutes watching a play through video from someone who I count as an honest and genuine friend of mine who thinks that he might have a future in You Tube. The fact he doesn’t sound very confident at his ability says to me I’m going to have my work cut out. That’s when being a friend is hard, because honesty needs to be very carefully worded.
I do my best to talk to everyone I meet on social media. I don’t ignore people unless they give ME a very good reason. If you want to be my friend? Just talk to me like an equal.
If you can do that, then there’s a fighting chance it might work.