Got to Be Real

Don’t run until you can, you know, actually walk ^^ 

Half of my problem right now is getting organised. This is working wonders in real life, at least one section thereof, but everywhere else (this house, my gaming life) is now lagging behind. That’s what I realised that there needs to be some realistic goals in place, for getting everything sorted will not transpire as things currently stand. Someone I don’t know pointed out to me at the weekend that I’m treating people in many cases like they are really not very clever at all and I realised yesterday that’s because I’m doing the same thing to myself: everybody’s being lumped into my personal re-organisation and I’m handling the World in general as if they don’t have the faintest idea of what’s going on because that’s exactly how I feel myself. There I am, utterly confident until I have to actually interact and BOOM it’s arse down stairs I go.

This morning therefore, I feel the need to thank you for your help thus far. Because frankly, when it gets a bit much? You are here for me and I’m more than grateful.

Put down the torches and pitchforks please. NO, PLEASE ^^

No, I can’t ask the haters to lay off. The last time THAT happened I ended up with the shitstorm you see documented on last week’s blog, from a grown up who should really know better. They’ll tell you, and quite rightly too, that if you stick your head up and decry what they love, that gives THEM carte blanche to throw rocks until you’re unconscious. These are the undoubted pitfalls of being a public voice. I watch people being ‘run off Twitter’ now almost on a daily basis, and more often than not their reasoning is simple: it all got too much. The abuse, the threats, the stalkers, the obsessive need for some people to make others’ lives a living hell until they get what they want and you lose. Because that is how it ends: the person being abused simply gives in and lets the abuser dominate them, as that’s just easier. Trust me, it may seem that way short term, but the long term damage can often be far worse.

Mostly, this is about knowing what you’re capable of tolerating, and that’s where you guys come in.

The love you take is equal to the love you make.

The people who have supported me in the last few weeks… I’m not sure I will ever find a suitable means to thank you, except perhaps by showing I am listening to what you say and acting on these things in an attempt to become a better person overall. Because the advice I have received has been to a person exemplary, as everyone who has reached out has been both kind and understanding? Then I have the fuel to keep giving things back. I am moved forward by the understanding that this is what needs to be done, and I will keep doing it not just for myself, but to make others stop and think about how they can change their lives. Because I know I can do good things, and that I can help others cope and grow, and I’ve seen the proof of this. That means I feel I can’t stop, I shouldn’t, because so many other people fall by the wayside. The ones that really care and have a voice are often just not capable of doing this all the time, and that means that you need extra strength sometimes, and that’s where you help me. Thank you.

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Sometimes a single sentence puts everything you do into context. This tweet, amongst a sea of agreement yesterday, really stopped me in my tracks. Yes, I do care about all of this: deeply, passionately, and even when I get drowned out I’ll pick myself up and come back to the moment. That’s what I am, and how I function, and it can be hard to keep everything in balance. However, you have to keep going, or else the consequences are simply too terrible to comprehend. You most definitely don’t want to go there, that’s for damn sure.

So thank you to everybody who remains in support of what I do. May I continue to earn both your respect and trust, and may we all move forward to bigger and better things.
Without you, this would be a far darker and more frightening journey than it now is.

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