GSME #11 :: Personal Jesus


I should apologise for being a couple of days late with the Guide, but as history can show this as being Monday when it is in fact Wednesday, I doubt there’s too much of a fuss to be caused anyway. Health issues have inevitably derailed my progress, but they’re also a powerful means of driving social media. If you didn’t know already, drama generates interest.


Let’s be honest here: I’d rather not have all this fuss and bother right before one of the most important periods of my life, but the Universe does like to mess with your head at the most inopportune of moments. Therefore, my views last week were exclusively driven by the fact I’ve become my own news story, like it or not. I could choose to read these figures in an number of ways, but at this point I’d just like to think that more people than normal care about my welfare, and that’s where we’ll stop. The better news, if we look at the graph on the right, is that I’m keeping close to exceeding a 2% engagement rate.

How am doing that is part of a structured change to my Tweeting habits.


This Tweet has a picture, from my phone, of me waiting in the Hospital to see my surgeon on Monday night. If I’d have posted it *without* the picture it would have received less interest, because what the image does is make this less about having a conversation. The image, like it or not, draws you into my story. That’s why SnapChat and Instagram are as immensely useful and compulsive as they undoubtedly are as tools for generating traffic: the brain, in most cases, reacts more favourably to visual stimulus. This means that if I post something with a GIF attached, more people will read it, as is the case with a screenshot or a photograph. Once upon a time mobile download limits might restrict this as useful, but as WiFi becomes de rigeur and mobile devices become portable newspapers and magazines as well as gaming rigs… use more pictures.


On the flip side, one well worded, concise and honest tweet is worth an entire blog post.

Picture + personal affirmation, in this case, results in a 9.3% engagement rate, if you didn’t believe me when I said that pictures sell. On the flip side however, being overly personal can turn people off. There’s the individual on my feed for instance who’s almost permanently ragging on their ex-partner for being horrible, and although there is a continued measure of sympathy for the situation, that person does go on Mute when it all gets too much. As is the case with life, balance is everything.


Finally, you don’t need pictures, a personal dilemma or the end of the World to engage an audience. With the right words, a bit of thought and some planning, you can use Twitter to write blog posts, by ‘threading’ a series of tweets together with an appropriate picture at the top. This method of communication is proving increasingly useful for me, and I’ll be making the most of the format going forward. This week, there’s not much else to report really, and with an operation scheduled for the 16th, it will be a little quiet around these parts on Monday anyway.

Time to go practice what we’ve learnt and be ready to start again once all this drama is over.

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps

Bury them there, nobody’s looking… ^^

Just an advisory, to anyone on Social Media who thinks they’re clever enough to diss their friend(s)/colleague(s) without anyone else working out the fact they’re doing it. You know, the one(s) they were as tight as Kim Kardashian’s ass with: suddenly they’ve fallen out over something, and now the anger burns with the heat of a thousand CGI-generated Suns. They think they’re being clever and oh so subtle in their abuse of them… but the thing is, if I can work out what you’re up to from a semi detached in South East England, your plan is failing. You’re also making complete wankers of yourself in the process.

The problem with your cunning scheme is twofold. Firstly, you forget all the other people who saw this event play out from both sides, and have worked out that you’re the one making the storm in the teacup. Secondly, and more importantly, you’ve also failed to grasp that if you’d like people to take you seriously in the future and not consider you whiny drama queens then filling your timeline with thinly-veiled pokes at the person who has aggrieved you is really not the way forward. You’re hoping most people aren’t paying attention. Yeah, well, the problem there is that, as I have discovered to my cost, an incredible number of people do nothing but.

Available to Embroider and for sale on Etsy  REALLY SOON… ^^

Drama is great when you’re not in it. When someone else generates it you’re more than happy to sit back and lap it up, oh, and add your own tuppence worth in the Pot of Recrimination (available in three colours and four styles.) However, when it’s you caught up with the backwash things get really old, very fast. In fact, this is always a good moment to work out whether the people you call friends are indeed actually that to begin with. because, as I’ve said elsewhere today, knowing who those people are is useful for future reference. But most importantly of all, all those people who you think don’t have a clue who you are because of that Great Internet Anonymity you have because you’re not using your real name? It’s not that simple any more. You’d be amazed how clever some people can be in tracking down connections and joining the dots. They’re the same people who lap up the Internet drama. Except now, these people get paid to do this for a living.

So, when you next decide to spread your drama all over cyberspace? Remember how much it smells, how well it sticks and how difficult it can be to clean up afterwards. Oh, and don’t assume because you’ll forget about it all that everyone else will too.

Some people have VERY long memories.